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Jan. 22nd, 2008 @ 08:20 pm What should i do.....without hurting her
Current Mood: confusedconfused
heres a little history before we get to the main point. First i started dating this guy and well we were together for almost 5 years. Then right after i broke up with him i started dating someone else. We were only together for a lil while before i started developing feelings my current g/f we have now been together a lil over a year. I have tried talkin to her and explaing that i just dont think i need to be with anyone i have been in a constant realationship with no break in between. I have cheated on her twice now and i hate myself for it. I told her i would never do that to her well because she has a past where a couple of other people have. Around the time i was tryin to explain to her that i just needed to b by myself we were looking at apartments and i was tryin to push for a two bedroom and well we ended up with one. The last time i cheated on her was just the other night and i feel as if i want to see other people and have my fun but i also dont want to hurt her. I love her very much and we will be living together for another 7-8 months but i dont know how to tell her that i want to see other ppl and be able to do what i want without sounding selfish. I would appreciate any advice anyone has to give.
xoxoxoxo
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sweetfairydream:
Apr. 22nd, 2007 @ 04:43 pm pitcher/catcher
Current Mood: confusedconfused
can any one can tell me what the whole pitcher/catcher has n e thing to do with a gay relationship....my sister who is gay and me who i am now with my first girl friend- well she had a pitcher shirt and well i wanted it but it was a big deal when i took it...i even asked my girlfriend and we decided it was sexual cuz my sister is very protective. She told me to google in what it has to do with a relationship???? i figued maybe some on could help~ its sounds stupid but i dunno once someone tells me i know its prolly gonna be so ovious!
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sweetfairydream:
Mar. 29th, 2007 @ 03:18 pm why.....
Current Mood: curiouscurious
ok so i think there is something wrong with me i dont understand why i cant ever let myself be truely happy. I am in my first gay realationship and i care for this girl alot she would do n e thing to make and keep me happy. But again i want screw it up. The other day i met this girl and i think shes really cute. Before i didnt know if i was just attracted to the girl i am with or eventually i would feel for others. Then i got my answer i found myself wondering what it would be like with this new girl that i just me. I dont know wat to do i mean everything to my girlfriend and i dont want to hurt her i just feel i need to explore a little more. O wow i need some major help~
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sweetfairydream:
Mar. 9th, 2007 @ 06:53 am New Gay Fiction
Hello,

First off, I'm sorry if this is a duplicate message for you. I'm sending this to a few communities.

There's a Live Journal that some members of this community may be interested in. The entries are from an unpublished Gay Fiction book. In order to get it published the story needed to be destroyed so rather than give in, I'm publishing it here for free.

The first chapter is public and further chapters are friends only. Every weekday a few pages are posted. Right now its in the beginning of chapter 3.

The journal is here losing_jason

...and here's the story synopsis

Jason and Garrett were best friends since before they could crawl. Born a few months apart to sets of parents, themselves best friends, their bond was unusually strong. Right before Jason's sixteenth birthday he was diagnosed with an inoperable cancer that wouldn't respond well to chemotherapy. Jason is given only a few months to live and he takes that time to live his entire life to the fullest, without fear, without trepidation but with a clock. Without Jason, Garrett’s world would fall apart and it does fall apart once he learns of Jason's illness. For years Jason held a secret love for Garrett and after learning of his death sentence, finally expresses that love to Garrett. Garrett also had feelings for Jason but buried them so deep he didn't realize they were there until Jason pulls them up to the surface all at once.

Though they lament that they kept their shared secret hidden for so long, Garrett and Jason make the best of the short time they have left together as friends and lovers. Garrett begins to realize that he would soon have to face the world without Jason and at the same time face the world as a homosexual. Its Jason's wish to tell his family and friends about his feelings but he promised he would wait until Garrett was ready. Garrett struggles with coming out of the closet and, as opportunities come and go, Garrett lets each pass. Jason meanwhile with a clock ticking in his head grows impatient. As Jason's illness sets in Garrett avoids coming to terms with not only the closet but Jason's illness and he does all he can to hide from all if it. Garrett avoids the inevitable pain, real and imagined all while alienating everyone around him, most of all Jason.
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losing_jason:
Feb. 9th, 2007 @ 02:34 am ONCE AGAIN...
Current Mood: restlessrestless
.........here i am left alone with my thoughts.

Ok so the other night my girlfriend and i were invite to a party at my ex-boyfriend michaels house. {*note* not many people know about me and michelle besides my mom, my sister, some of her friends, michael, and a few mutual friends of mine and michelles.} I knew inside i wasnt totally ready to go to this party and be totally out. For a whole week i had been trying to figure out how to bring it up and talk to her about it. I didnt want to upset her, I dont know why but i was scared to death. So i put it off and put it off till eventually the night of the party came and i couldnt n e more. We had gotten into a lil argument and i finally just decided i wasnt gonna go. She knew something was wrong and well i had to spill it. I mean i dont know what it was or what it still is i seriously had a break down. She helped me through it and we decided we would go but keep it quiet and i thought she was okay with that. Till as soon as we got there a friend from out of town james was sayin how he didnt really like michaels g/f and what are the chances of you and mikey gettin back together and i mean i didnt exactly shout out that i was with michelle but i let him know that wasnt gonna happen. First of all were just not good together that way and were best friends now. But he wasnt the only one. His sister also said something and i handled it the same way. A friend of both mine and michaels came up to me later and was quectioning the situation b/c she knew of it through michael and that was okay with me b/c she was in the same situation just a lil more out about it. I told her yea it was tru and i introduced her to michelle. james some how refered danielle to bein gay and i told him its ok cuz so am i. Them two werent that big of a deal b/c i have known them as long as i have known michael. Auctually that is how i know them. So a time came when michelle got a lil close when everyone was around and i kinda freaked. Because i had the talk with her before we even went so that we didnt have to get into it there. Well it kinda upset her which i can understand. But i mean shes alwayz known she was gay and well she lost her virginity to a girl. It just isnt the same for me. I dont know why this is so hard for me i have alot of gay friends. My sister is gay. I know my friends and other people i know are okay with it too im just terrified. But i dont know of what. See when i first started seein michelle there was a halloween party someone from work threw and we went to it. There i jumed into lettin everyone know i was interested in her and i had 20 quections from this girl i didnt even know. She wasnt mean or harsh i just cant really explain all of it to myself let alone other people. I just feel this huge pressure from her to be out and proud. Its not that i am ashamed at all i really dont know what it is. I wish i could figure it out it would make things a hell of alot easier. I mean she really is trying and i know why she ended up upset and drinking too much and i feel horrible for that but i also went ahead and tried to explain things to her before we got there that i just wasnt ready and i felt as if she didnt take my feelings into consideration. I could prolly write a whole book on this night but thats all for now. please fell free to leave your insights i love that i have this place to turn to when i need you guys.

I just wanted to say thanks to everyone who has given me their adivice, oppinions, and support.
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sweetfairydream:
Feb. 3rd, 2007 @ 01:27 am Advice....ANYONE???
Current Mood: awake
ok so heres the deal. My first girlfriend who i have been with for about 4 months now was engaged to this other girl before me... heres where the story gets good. They were together about 2 months when mutual friends of theirs went off and got married and well her ex-g/f (nicole) decided she wanted a engagement ring. So she went shopping and picked one out and got her way. I guess (michelle) who is my g/f didnt really want to give it to her to begin with but she thought she was the one for her. Well the thing nicole and i have in common is michelle is both our first. So eventually things went bad between them and nicole ended it with michelle and come to find out nicole was cheating on michelle which isnt the worst part!!!! It was with her cousin kevin. So many people have told michelle that she should get her ring back but nicole wont give it back even now that she is engaged to some guy named adam. I think that b/c nicole broke it off with her she has the rights back to her ring when they exchanged them the made a promise and well she screwed it up.
i guess the thing that gets me is by her still allowing her to keep thing ring i feel as if they are still tied together by that. i dont really know how to explain it but i mean i have mentioned to michelle that she should get it back but thats about as far as it goes and i dont really know why this bothers me so much.
am i over reacting or should i talk to her about this and if so i dont know how to bring it up and what to even say about all of it....

....*IF ANYONE CAN HELP OR HAS ANY ADVICE PLEAS HELP*....
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sweetfairydream:
Jan. 23rd, 2007 @ 03:21 pm Im NeW
Hi every one, i never really had an idea that i would be attracted to girls until just recently about 3-4 months ago. I have been around gay people since like eight grade and im 19 soon to be 20. My sister is a lesbian. Well about 5 months ago i started workin at a new job and i had met a few people and well one of the girls was interested in me. Before i found this out i started realizing that i was developing feelings for her. I didnt understand it and couldnt explain it. I had a boyfriend at the time and well i just felt so messed up but it felt incredible. She knew without me even telling her. For the first few nights we were texting back and forth and she finally came out and said it was different when i flirted back because of the look i had in my eyes. So eventually i confessed that ya i did and that i didnt exactly know what was goin on and i was confused by the whole thing. Well i tried getting ahold of my sister and talkin to her about it but she was never home and well i decided to message her on myspace and wow did she freak. She just couldnt process what i had told her. It took her a few days and her roommate sitting down and talkin to her. Im not sure if i am a full lesbian. The problem i am having is telling friends and wondering what they are goin to think i mean none of these people i really talk to that much n e more but still. The only real people that know are my mom, my sister, and the people i worked with. I mean i felt alot of presser from her to come out and be open with it. She isnt afraid to show affection infront of people. I am still gettin use to that. if anyone has n e advice for me or want to share your situation and how u handled it add me plez.
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sweetfairydream:
Dec. 4th, 2006 @ 01:39 am need help
hi i'm a girl and i'm looking for help.recently my youngest brother(18) told me he is gay and that he likes his best friend who is strait.now he is very confused about it.he doesn't know what to do and how to admit about that to our parents.besides that he told he wants to try how it is to be with another boy(only his friend)but how to talk to him he doesn't know as well.i want to help him but don't know how.maybe u can help me with that.maybe u can tell me how u told youre family that u gay or had such problems.becouse i really love my brother and want to do something
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sheili:
Nov. 9th, 2006 @ 08:39 pm My First Time
The story of my first time, although it does not make the hottest story....

(cross posted from my journal)Collapse )
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pervy_bi_guy:
Jul. 23rd, 2006 @ 05:04 pm (no subject)
Hi Im a guy from the UK and 20 years old, just recently had my first gay experiance though I've fantasised about one for ages. I like women as well and been with a few So Im going to play safe and say im bi. I must say i Dont like as many guys and I do girls but as long as theres some connection its fine.
better end it there.
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CSI
ralphwynn: